Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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