ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
