Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
babies were throwing up all over the place
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
