I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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