i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
