evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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