I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
