Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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