The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
