just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
