East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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