honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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