I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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