so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Green mimosas i think yes
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
