Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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