It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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