Betty ford says i'm here all night
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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