At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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