he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
