Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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