How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize