Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
