covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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