what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
