Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
