Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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