And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
