mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
