"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
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