we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
