OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize