i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
