butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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