i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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