I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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