The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
