apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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