I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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