So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
