So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
