im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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