Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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