I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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