so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize