Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
