I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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