We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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