"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
