Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Da na na, na na naa

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(419): View more from Ohio

It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.

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(705): View more from Ontario

i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person

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(443): View more from Maryland

Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended

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