Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
