And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
