Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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