I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
