Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
