ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize