Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
