How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
