I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
