So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
