Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
